Never Ending Story

A lot has happened in the past few days that I'd never had the chance to write it but will always and forever will be part of me. At least I have the pictures to remind me that of. :)

But when I heard the news, I can't stop but wonder if how I should fight this new battle. Although I know that I can still overcome this but it's better that I just give in so as not to create any unnecessary conflict. Hehehe ... I exaggerated a little way over here but you know what the reason is. :)

And so my decision is final. This is the last page of my story. The tale that the fox has been telling for more than a year now. But I am not saying that this is going to be the last time that I'll write a blog but I guess the time is right to end this tale. I may start a new one but for now that is just something that I could only hope for.

I'm getting a bit sentimental here because this story is a practically the story of my life ... the life that I've been living ... my fate ... the destiny that I created.

But as this tale closes, this does not mean that I will stop living or that I no longer have anything to say ... I still do ... lots of it for that matter. Instead of writing it here also, I will only now be writing it in my mind and in my heart.

So as I turn this last page, closing this chapter and book, I am forever grateful to this site, my avid readers (hahaha ... assuming), and to all the wonderful moments that I wrote and will write that expresses all my feelings. And know that I am forever changed because of this.

The story ends now ... but know that this is and forever will be ... my Never Ending Story.

Day 38: Chasing Amy

Last night was indeed quite a unique Heart's day celebration I had here in the Land of the Rising Sun. I was actually thinking that they would celebrate or at least just make it feel like today is such a day but I was so wrong.

Anway, aside from the stores that sells heart-shaped chocolates, there's really not much into this occassion. But since for me it is something, I decided to do something to make this day a little bit out of the ordinary. So what I did was I planned to go to Roppongi and see it as something that it is famous for ... disco and night-outs.

But since Janice can't leave the office yet for some project-related deadlines and stuffs like that, it was just me and Noel who went there. And take note it was the day that Noel arrived in Japan. Imagine, his first night and he's already going out. Hahaha.

The place was much, much better than during the day time. The lights were pretty cool. The people there all looked good and dressed to kill. Then the view of Tokyo tower at night is also nice. I guess everything that is well-lighted in the night with flashy colored lights are nice.

So we walked around there, went into some stores, looked for some cute guys, being asked if we would like to go to their club/bar, went into a pet shop with so many adorable and cuddly puppies worth around 150, 000 yen as the cheapest, and some picture takings. Hehehe. But we didn't explore that much because both of us have to do the next day (me work him training).

After getting home, I was able to get a copy of Kiss the Rain song by Billie Myers from Rachel while copying pictures to her mobile hard disk. But the track was not just the song. It also had a monologue ... from the movie Chasing Amy. And the lines were pretty romantic ... or I was just into the Heart's day fever so here at the office while being idle, I searched for this movie and kinda find it interesting. So, another movie to queue. Hehehe. :)

Below is the monologue I was refering to early on and some nice lines too.

Alyssa: Why are we stopping?
Holden: Because I can't take this.
Alyssa: Can't take what?
Holden: I love you.
Alyssa: You love me?
Holden: I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know... I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

---
Alyssa: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you - it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
Holden: Still am.
Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.

---
Holden: It's not who you love, it's how.

Day 37: St. Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's day ... the Love day. And I'm here in Japan right now experiencing it. But so far, seems like any other ordinary day. But I'm thinking that it's only because it's still too early in the morning. Hey, that gives me an idea ... maybe I should err ... take a quick walk around Roponggi tonight? Maybe I can find something ... or more appropriately someone there. Hehehe ... but not for a 1 night stand. Unless he can make my bra and panty fall from its' places then why not.

Last month, when we were still in Osaka and up until here in Tokyo, stores everywhere are displaying all kinds of chocolates goodies for this special event. And it's not that cheap but the packaging is really good. Loved to try one but it wouldn't mean anything would it if I'd brought it for myself. Indeed watching JDrama has its' perks because I somehow now have a little idea of how the Japanese people celebrate Valentine's Day and White Day. :) Hahaha ... learned from Gokusen 2. :D

Oh, before that, the picture above was taken last Sunday during the road trip from Nagano to Tokyo, Shinjuku to be exact. The girl there is Jing and the guy is Ron (the one where I first met at the Ofuro), who are both Filipino who also went to the Ski and Snowboard Tour. The story behind this picture is that as Jessica and I were getting a bit tired, almost running out of things to tell, she starting tinkering my camera. And knowing the person she is, she's more into the black and white or the old fashioned photography effect. Yah it's cool but not for my usual everyday taste. So she tried to take a picture of me using the Retro scene. And that's how it came out.

That's the story behind the photography. But when you looked at it, it kinda reflects what I'm feeling right now ... single. It's not that I'm not happy with being single but it's kinda nice to also have someone you can always talk to and who can sends kilig moments in my life. :D

P.S. I'm not actually sure if Jing and Ron are a couple so I'll let you decide on that. :)

Day 36: Tinkerbell

It's been a while now that I've been dying to write something about Tinkerbell. And there's so many reasons ... so many details ... so many instances that prevents me from writing, urges me to write ... leaving me all in a state of confusion. But doesn't include my sexual orientation. Hehehe ... already happy with my decision. :)

So anyway, I guess one thing that always gets me so worked out, exhausted, and sometimes frustrated is when I get to encounter Tinkerbell or someone who is like her.

Back in college, we'd always hated or don't like to be associated with fellow students that belongs to a certain division. Although this is really a very ugly stereotype that we had but we just can't help it. Because ever time that we would interact with those ... kikay girls who are so maarte, we would only get annoyed and irritated.

Now, Tinkerbell is not an exception to this stereotype. And I do hate it when she makes a big fuss out of nothing. Or that she'll treat me like someone that I'm not.

But hey, it's not that I'm totally complaining about it ... but is it too much to ask to be treated just like a girl? With a little bit of compassion?

Day 35: Onsen Finally

After the nice and relaxing sleep, we had breakfast at around 7:30AM. There I discovered that Jessica and Jen went and had onsen last night. Just to two of them. It was so funny because as they told us about it, there were like so conscious of each other. It was like they would take turns turning back so as not to see each other naked. Hehehe. Well we didn't had that kind of shyness in ofuro last night. Hehehe.

So after preparing our things for check-out and got into our power rangers attire, off to do some skiing again. Muscle pains all over and all. Huhuhu. As we went outside, it actually had snowed and was still snowing. Cool, skiing while snowing. But as we went to the ski site, the place (not the lift area) was covered with snow ... the kind that they called powdered snow. It was actually like powder ... lots and lots of it. Still we tried but it was kinda hard because the snow would just accumulate on the skis making it even harder to control.

A good thing though that Jen, Rodney, and Jessica borrowed the sleds from the Donburi restaurant and thats what we did the entire morning ... instead of skiing. It was actually pretty cool. We even had 2-3 trips up the ski lift ... which by the way I still find it so hard to get off it when arriving at the end point. It doesn't stop ... it just goes on and on and it's hard walking in these boots. The ride down the mountain so totally cool. As in totally. Hehehe. Well, the part where our face gets covered with snow isn't included in that but nonetheless. It was also fun rolling around the snow ... especially the powered ones. Nice feeling.

But since it still kept on snowing ... so Jessica and I decided to head back early to the hotel because it was getting too cold for us. And so we did after taking our lunch. Kelvin joined us. Since we headed off early, we had to walk from the snow park to the hotel ... around 10 minutes.
Back at the hotel, we decided to try and have onsen ... since most of the people are still at the snow park. We thought that what we planned a long time ago would now come true. Well it kinda did and didn't. Basically the experience was just the same as that of the ofuro but the onsen was outdoors so it had another add-on to it. So I was slowly taking my clothes off when Kelvin went too. My gosh, second time around ... Hmmm, started to noticed something. Hehehe ... kidding. He's not my type. He just reminds me of my classmate back then.

So I went in first before he did. While taking the onsen, the warm spring water all over my body was relaxing it ... soothing it. And my head on top of the water ... has snow falling all over it. I felt like a warm brownie cup that time. My head was cold and my body was hot. Imagine that. So I would lean back and look up at the sky as the snow kept falling on my face. Cool feeling. At the end of the onsen area, the was a small opening towards the girls area. Jessica and I were supposed to do onsen together ... but not together if you know what I mean. But we hadn't had a chance to do it. Anyway, at least we both had onsen.

What's weird is because for her, her onsen experience is not the same as mine. Mainly because she was always alone or let me put it this way ... hadn't seen anyone naked during that time. Hahaha. But honestly, doing ofuro or onsen is so refreshing and relaxing. :)

After that, people started to arrive at the hotel ... just in time as we're about to finish doing some kikay things. And on the ride back ... to Shinjuku this time ... which totally had us off guard because we though we would be going back to Yoyogi Park, Brian and Jessica switched places. So Jessica and I had around 5-6 hours of catching up. Lots of catching up and lots of plans to do together. :)

As we arrived in Shinjuku, we passed this place where they have this err ... structure of LOVE that I saw featured in Densha Otoko, a Japanese series I recently saw. Hmm, want to have my picture taken there some time. :D

Day 34: Skiing in Nagano

Last night, was the night that Brian and I left from TKC to go this Ski/Snowboard Tour 2006 in Nagano. After taking our dinner, we head of to go Yoyogi Park just around Harajuku station of JR Line and Meijijingumae of Chiyoda Line at ... take note ... 10PM.

So from there, we met up with Jessica and her officemates. We meet new people like Jen, Rodney, Neil, Kelvin, Jesselee, Boyet, and more. So sorry, not very good with names. :D

From there, it was a 5 hour travel by bus. But since we had 3 20 minutes stops/break, it took us around 6 hours to get to Nagano. Pretty far but the place was totally for skiing. As we travel to get there, the place became colder and colder as snow began to pile up all around the place. And just before leaving from Yoyogi Park, Charlie, one of the Japanese organizers, gave us a sort of precaution when getting out of the bus during the break. He's not that bad looking but he can do better. But what kinda made him appealing to me was when after he gave the instructions in English, the people were saying him to say it in Japanese. And that's when I really paid attention to him. Hehehe.

We stayed tha Kijimadaira Kogen Hotel. The room that was assigned to us was the traditional Japanese room. Kinda weird but the experience was nice. It was just plain tatami on the room proper. We got to have the chance to make our own bed just like the way Japanese people do. In our room, there were 7 of us namely me, Brian, Jesselee, Boyet, Kelvin, Jay (Rachel's batchmate in AOTS), and Rodney.

Arrived at around 6:30AM, assigned to our rooms, got our ski shoes ... boots more like it and ski wear (which by the way we looked like the power ranges only having the same color), had a quick introduction or briefing ... then off to Makinoiri Snow Park. And thus the skiing began. :D

My gosh, the ski gear was heavy ... considering walking in these ski boots wasn't hard enough. But weird is that even though how cold it was, with just a shirt and our ski wear, we didn't felt the cold that time. We were actually even sweating as we were learning how to ski. Hehehe. It may look easy on tv but believe me, it's not. And where the hell was our instructor? :( We were supposed to have one, which would last for 2 hours, but unfortunately we hadn't. Only the ones doing the snowboarding had. So a fall here, a fall there was basically took most of our time. Hehehe.

Basically we got to do some skiing just around the bottom of the lift ... practicing what we've learned. And so after lunch at Donbori, we tried to go to the beginner's course. So we rode the ski lift going up ... which by the way was pretty far and high but not that steep so it was okay. And gosh, it took me and Jessica like most of the afternoon just to go down ... once. Man, it was so hard. The others was like in there third or fourth time ... us, we were still around half way. Huhuhu. But at least we tried. We just lacked the skills to do it directly. Hehehe.

For dinner, we again had another unique experience. We were the ones to heat our food. The food was placed in like a clay stove then we'd light the candle below it to heat the clay to heat the food. Hehehe. :D

Afterwards, we were kinda beat and since the fireworks was cancelled, I decided to take a bath before going to sleep. But the bath they had was only either ofuro or onsen. But since the onsen was situated outside and it was really cold and kinda tired, I just opt for the ofuro. My plan was just to take a hot shower and that's it. Nothing else. :D

So inside the ofuro, while undressing, Kelvin came in. So a smile here and there then I immediately went inside. No way was I staying long outside. I didn't even talked to him much. Kinda weird that time coz we kinda liked knew each other but not that well but still. Then inside, while taking the shower, Charlie came in but he didn't showered. He just cleansed himself then dip in the ofuro bath. Then I switched to another area because my shower was only emitting cold water. And that's way too cold for me. After finishing my shower, there was a guy that invited me to take a dip. He also invited his friend. So I joined them. And we talked about, introduced ourselves and chatted for a while. And that's how I got to know Bruce and Ron. :)

Lying down on some foams and sheets just above the tatami floor to sleep, wasn't that bad. Or I was just so tired that day to complain. Hehehe. I guess the effect was good because I could already here Brian snoring that time. Hehehe. :D

Day 33: Star Struck

Not really awed by such an amazement of seeing some celebrities but Brian and I finally saw what we've been making the software for all this time. As in this is like the fulfillment of our career ... char.

Before taking our break for lunch, we we to do some testing on some bugs and we got the chance to be with some of the sofware quality assurance test engineers who's here for a business trip to help us do some confirmation tasks.

Amazingly, we saw MA2010, VNode, VNodeS, CNode, UNode (not sure though what type it was but hey ... at least we knew it was that. Hehehe), and RoadM. Although they're really not that big of a deal especially what they looked like but at least we know have seen what we've been doing for the past ... err ... 2 years or so.

The equipment were just like this metallic box with slots and shelves and lots of network cables with yellow green lights blinking endlessly. Hehehe ... what a feeling it was that we have ... sort of like a fulfillment ... Nah ... just amazed that's all. :D